*tap, tap, tap*

Is this thing on?

Sebastian Owen here. Jenn’s devilishly handsome cat. While I’m normally quite the perky fella, I’ll be brutally honest: I’m pissed off right now. And it’s all Mom’s fault.

You see, she’s been super busy lately and thus has been less attentive. I let it slide at first and managed to entertain myself for a bit.

But after being left behind while Mom was on a business trip in Portland last week and now a long weekend getaway in Lake Chelan, I’m putting my paw down. I’ve McGyver’d my way into this blog and with the help of my translator Siri, I’ve written the following letter to Mom [Note: Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. Siri isn't quite fluent in Meownese].

Dear Mom:

I hope you’re enjoying yourself soaking up the sun and sipping a nom-nommy cocktail by the pool. I’m appalled that you would leave me here with my obnoxious brother and the slobbering mongrel we recently inherited. I’m bored and cranky, and believe you me, it’s going to take much more than bribing me with treats to make up for it this time. We’ll be having some words.

Your selfish behavior has led me back down the dark path to my ultimate vice: catnip. You only have yourself to blame for this relapse:

Which reminds me, please grab some more catnip on your way home.

Your favorite cat [don't you dare deny it, either],

Sebastian Owen